Be Happy–this is the fun level, the one we’ve been waiting for and working towards! Thisis where you will get the highest return for your investment; this is the one that lasts for the rest of your life. There are so many ways you can explore your path to lasting happiness, and so many great resources and books. We will get to these in time, as this blog unfolds. For now, I would like to focus on three things that have greatly contributed to my happiness:
KNOW YOURSELF
I talk to people about this all the time. This is pretty much the key to everything; you have to know who you are and what you value. There are so many mixed messages and misguided expectations facing you every day. The best way to stand up to them and make it through intact is to know yourself well. Live with integrity, being true to what you value, and respecting others for being true to their beliefs.
This is the most important step, but sometimes it can be difficult for people to remove the distractions, calm the chaos, and look within. I didn’t find my personal truths by staring at a candle in deep meditation (although I hear that approach works too.) I discovered who I am and what I value when I started thinking about what I want to teach my son.
Imagine your child (or future child) asking you, “What is the most important thing? If I do nothing else in life, what would you want me to do?” The answer appeared so simply for me, and I tell him all the time: “Be loving, compassionate, and tolerant of those who are not like you.” I don’t know if this is THE truth, but it is MY truth; and it has served me well.
ACCEPT THE FACTS
In order to be happy, you will need to accept at least these two facts:
* You have limitations. Understand what they are. You can’t be all things to all people, you are not perfect, and you won’t be good at everything you try. It’s OK.
* You can’t make others change. It is interesting to note that an awful lot of people turn to self-help and personal development books in order to find ways to change OTHERS. “If only my (husband, wife, friend, child, co-worker, boss) were not so difficult, my life would be better.” That may be the case, but the only person you can change is yourself. You can teach or inspire by example, but you cannot force change on someone who is not interested in changing.
BE YOUR BEST SELF
Given your new understanding of who you are, and your limitations, make the most of it.Do something you are passionate about, contribute, solve problems, create, share, or help. Be flexible when things don’t go according to your plan; sometimes it is best to just go with the flow of life. You can’t force your way into happiness–you ease into it.
Once you find inner peace and lasting happiness, it doesn’t matter what happens; you will be OK. If one of the lower levels needs revisiting because your house burns down, you lose your job, or you have a health crisis, you will deal with it and get right back on track. Once you have experienced true happiness, it can never be taken away from you. It is always within your grasp, right under the superficial distraction
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